The break up… It’s something we have all gone through and a time when you really need your friends …to well say all the right things! You may not believe everything you tell your besties post break up but there are some lies that have serious value…Like making fun of the size of his manhood is completely acceptable despite the fact that she was bragging just the opposite just the week before!
Here are the ten things to say to your bestie when the she hits the ice cream hard after a break up.
‘You Deserve Better’. Sure, they were a rich doctor with abs to die for but they broke her heart therefore they are not worthy! End of!
‘It’ll be Ok’ Yes , you had a break up a year ago and you still think about them all the time…but your grand and you know she will be too. Now you just have to convince her of that!
‘He/she is an arsewhole/prick/dickhead/bitch….’ She needs to stop putting them on a pedestal. Even if the break up was her fault , unless they were a saint they had a few moments where they most defiantly acted like an A-Whole! So remind her of all those times… or make that one time sound super bad!
‘He has a tiny penis/she was terrible in bed’ Making fun of their anatomy and their skills in the bedroom will help her laugh out the pain.She knows most of that talk is lies but being a bitch is so therapeutic!
‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea’ by this you mean there are tons more frogs out there who won’t magically transform into royalty but she sure can have fun trying! Right now she needs to know this latest break up doesn’t mean becoming a crazy cat lady who closest companion’s name is Fluffy and will probably eat her corpse when she dies alone! She needs to see the all the positive possibilities.
‘You’ve to get back on the horse’ We are not saying you should encourage her to get with the next person who looks her way or she should jump into bed with anybody that drops a decent pick up line ! However we are suggesting you encourage your bestie to get out there and get some flirting action, maybe a little kissing and anything else well that’s up to her!
‘You’re a Babe’ So there will come a point post break up , you as her bestie will have to help rebuild the foundation to her confidence which has been left demolished by the last heart break. Complement her regularly on how hot she is and remind her how gorgeous she really is! Right now she thinks she looks like a cross between a rhino, the abdominal snowman and as much as she loves her, her mother!
‘Aggh he/she is totally checking you out’ this is something we should do when out anyway with our ladies, but your wingman senses should be on fire when your friend has just got her heart broken. Its amazing the effect that a person checking you out from across the room can have! Confidence back up and running! Check!
‘He/she is not worth it’ So you’ve convinced her to put down the ice cream, shower, wear anything other than sweats, actually managed to get her out of the house and well things are going good…. Until she has a melt down after one too many glasses of wine! Just remind her that they are not worth it… she has the chance to find happiness with someone rather than be stuck in a loveless relationship just for the sake of it… then there is the fact she can watch Geordie Shore without judgement! I mean what more could a girl want?
‘Don’t waste your tears on them’ Tears should be reserved for people who matter, this person obviously didn’t care enough to stick it out or didn’t deserve her so they don’t deserve her tears. She will still cry but at least she knows that you know she can do better!
Warning: Remember that after all that tearing them down, telling her how useless they are and how she can do so much better, after all the crying and self-hating is finally over ……… it is possible she may just get back together with them…… What can we say….. Bitches be Crazy!