Lads are often accused of being Liars and whilst us ladies disagree with that on the whole they all have a few white lies they have told from time to time. We asked our guy friends, brother and boyfriends to confess to some white lies they have told in the past and probably will in the future. These were lies that were told for the good of humanity, to save someone’s feelings, or maybe some embarrassment and are completely harmless or at least that’s what they tell themselves.
‘I don’t watch Porn (Anymore)’
This lie was probably first told during an awkward chat with your mammy during your formative years. However nowadays it is a white lie told to the missus in the full knowledge that she knows it’s a complete fabrication of the truth…but maybe the logic behind it is if you don’t admit it out loud you never have to talk about it. That one time with your mam was enough to scar you for life on ever discussing it again to a female.
‘You Don’t Look Fat in That’
Whether it was ushered to hurry your mam out the door, shut your sister up or out of fear of the girlfriend’s reaction every Irish lad has told this porker at one point or another. It is always a safer method to lie and appease the beast that speak the truth and anger it. Or at least that was the logic behind the deception.
‘I Love You’
The Irish girls are good catholic women or at least that is their claims, but you’re a young man with needs of a er…sexual nature. You know it was wrong, indecent, down right immoral but you may have ushered those three magical words in a bid to well get some lovin. You said it with the hopeful intentions that you will feel that way in the not too distant future…. but now you are just lying to yourself!
‘I’m not into those ‘Girly Drinks’
This is a blatant lie, you know you love the ice cold refreshment and sweet taste of a strawberry daiquiri or the fruity bomb that goes off in your mouth from a sex on the beach. Just admit it, you won’t be judged…but you will of course be slagged (But that is to be expected)
As an Irish man you are not the most emotionally competent and admitting you feel like crying over…. well anything is just not to be tolerated. So you smile say ‘Ah sure I’m Grand’ and muddle on trying to push your true feelings deep deep inside.
‘That is delicious! Seriously Mam’
Any self-respecting Irish man loves a good auld slap up meal prepared by the infamous Irish Mammy, however even her in her almost god like status can have the odd experimental blunder. Whether she has tried to make a gluten free pizza that’s gone haywire or has made a questionable meatloaf, you can’t let her down, after all you are her pride and joy. You stuff it in a napkin on your lap as she busies herself cleaning the kitchen and hanging out the clothes while the whole time saying ‘This is delicious, Seriously Mam’ repeatedly. Just in case she didn’t believe you the first 3 times.
‘I LOVE your parents’
Ah a lie you have definitely told to a partner at some point is ‘I LOVE your parents’. You soon realise you should have been honest from the get go as herself is so delighted you all get on so well you are invited to Sunday dinner every week, all the family holidays and regular catch ups……but then again it’s too late to tell the truth now and it will only anger the other half. Better stay stum.
‘She is such a BITCH’
Your girlfriend is rabbiting on about some row she’s just had with her BFF , which seems to be the same row she had last time…. You nod pretending to intently listen whilst adding the odd “she is such a bitch comment” knowing that they will be talking again by the end of her long winded rant.
‘She is not hot at all’
Ah this lie is told not just to save your bacon but to save your ladies feelings. You can’t help noticing attractive women but there is no need to tell her that. As far as she is concerned you only have eyes for her. See not all lies are bad you tell yourself as you do a double take on the blonde across the street.
‘I’ll tell you when I am close’
So your other half is performing some fellatio on you, as you do like but you have promised to give them fair warning before…. you blow your top. But it’s just too tempting to say nothing and play innocent. You’ll treat them to a nice cold drink when they are done.